Hello shoppers...
Here's what I know about malls:
1. A movie about zombies was shot in one.
2. A brand of cigarettes is kinda named after one. (Before you scratch your head, Google it and get mad and yell at me - Pall Mall)
3. Jimmy Hoffa may be buried under one.
4. I just spent a lot of baaaaad time in one - time I will never ever ever be able to get back, plus I now have this really weird twitch in my left eye.
I just put a patch over it. And a parrot on my shoulder. We're good.
Bottom line - after what I just went through, all I am hoping - to quote Maximus addressing the arena minions in Gladiator - is, "Are you not entertained?!"
There is nothing entertaining about being greeted with 26 closed-ended questions.
Nor is it terribly fun to wander around the relatively small square-footage of dozens of the retail stores at Jordan Creek and be - no other word to describe it - ignored.
In the end I managed to Secret Shop 28 stores in four hours until, like Scarlett in Gone With The Wind, I put my hand to my forehead, yelled "Pa!" and collapsed from vapor lock - there's only so much weedin I can do at Tara, before Mammy's gotta drag me to the parlor.
Let me drag you along as I recreate the day's fun-filled unfunness.
There are 196 stores listed on the Jordan Creek mall map outside the main entrance by the Century Theaters, which is where I counted, and where I entered, to start this MOD. (Mission Of Doom)
I bypassed the food court and all restaurants. There will also be no reviews of hair salons (I hardly have any) book stores (I hardly read any) large anchor stores, (They'll get their own specific evaluations in later posts) jewelry stores (They'll get a collective comparison, next Valentine's Day) and kiosks (They won't get anything because they scare me.)
What's left? One of the most harrowing four-hour periods in the history of Secret Shopping. What else is left is about another 66 stores - which shal be covered in a later post, Secret Shopping Jordan Creek Mall II: Why People Take Antidepressants.
Don't cry for me, Jordantina. No one put a gun to my head and made me do this. I'm Italian - that's not how we operate.
Capisci?
You'll read the evaluations in the order I shopped the stores. Each review will include the name of the store, the greeting I was given, how long it took to get it, who gave it and marginally sarcastic commentary.
First, here's what you might already know, but just in case - the Secret Shopper rating system:
Horrific - a customer service nuclear bomb that's every owner's worst nightmare. The kind of service you call your friends to complain about.
Weak - a lot of work to be done, but there's hope.
Forgettable - not great, not bad. This is where most businesses end up.
Strong - some very good things are going on. Just needs some tweaking.
Stellar - first-rate, exceptional, off the hizzle. The kind of exemplary service you call your friends to brag about.
The store reviews will be quick thumb-nail sketches, broken down by "Time untill greeted," "Greeting," "Greeter," and "Commentary."
While the majority of the experiences will not make the store owners smile (although most don't live around here and so may have other things to frown about) a few were good, and one, extraordinary.
There is also one experience which ranks among my five all-time worst. And I've been to a Dress Barn - twice. You'll notice this review because it's the last one - where it belongs, and won't hurt anyone.
Thus I entered Jordan Creek Mall at the theater entrance, hung a left, walked past the food joints and went into the first non-eatery I saw - which is where we begin.
Store: Delio's - women's clothing
Time until greeted: 30 seconds
Greeting: "Hi, how are you? Are you shopping for anything?"
Greeter: Steffani
Comments: When Steff hit me after only 30 seconds with a huge smile and a big fat "Hi!" I thought, "Cool beans! The movie Mallrats was mularkey! This is all going to be so incredibly wonderful ponies and stickers and bubble-gum and Tigerbeat fabalicious!"
Her stinkalicious follow-up closed-ended question was like being tossed into a spinning dryer full of bricks.
Let's just say that that part needs an itty bitty bit of work. Yet my guess is that Steff would be very trainable.
The music in the store was loud (a recurring theme) and gave the retail space, a great vibe. Overall, nice job.
We're off to a good start. Yeaaaaaa this is fun! Bring on the next store!!!
Store: Vanity - women's clothing
Time until greeted: 7 minutes
Greeting: "Are you being helped?"
Greeter: Sara
Comments: Just a quick tip on the dope rhyme to anyone who works in retail - never ever, under any circumstances, walk up to a human being in your store and say, "Have you been helped?"
You might as well say, "You really look lost! Then again, how would I know, because I'm the one who lost track of you, as did every other employee I suspect, otherwise, why would I ask you if you've been helped! But hey, we found you now, you little hider! So let's sell you something and make me feel better!"
Prior to that "greeting," I spent nearly 10 minutes wandering around Vanity, within 10 feet of Sara (who was engaging another customer but still should have acknowledged me) and an arm's length away from Lexie, who was engaging a computer monitor at the front counter.
I walked back and forth in front of her a half-dozen times but no, whatever was on that screen was much more interesting than a stupid shopper - a stupid male shopper in an all-women's clothing store, who is probably there to buy a woman he knows, something...just guessin!
As soon as Sara dropped the "have you been helped?" hammer on me, I immediately told her I was a secret shopper and wanted to talk to the owner - did she have that person's contact info?
Sara - who is the store manager - not only didn't know the owner's full name ("It's Jim something but that's all I know.") she also had no direct contact info for Jim Somebody, other than he was in California.
Thus began a pattern that would be repeated throughout the day - almost none of the stores have local ownership.
This may not be a surprise to you - but I'm stupid and need to start watching Entertainment Tonight, because this blew my mind.
So while Sara spent five minutes in the back, trying to track down a phone number for me to call, I stood with my elbows on the front counter - with Sara's counterpart no more than three feet away, still in front of the computer screen and still moot. I felt like I was at the entrance to Buckingham Palace...
I finally got a number for Vanity customer service - and a taste of what was to come.
Store: Wet Seal (Who thinks up these names?) - swimwear
Time until greeted: I'm still waiting
Greeting: see above
Greeter: see above above
Comments: T.J. and Melissa, the manager, were having a conversation about the pain-killers that Melissa was taking, that was far more interesting than any silly chit-chat they could possibly have with a little ole' customer.
When Melissa came over to a rack of clothes and began adjusting them, I strolled over and began adjusting those on the other side - hey, I wanna get in on the pain-killer meds convo!
I wasn't worthy. Melissa kept rappin with T.J.
I finally broke the ice: Who is the owner.
T.J. reformed it: "It's Ed something."
Wow - this Something family must be stinking rich!
Moving on to Something else...
Store: Forever 21 - women's clothing
Time until greeted: never greeted
Greeting: never greeted
Greeter: never greeted
Comments: The store might be more aptly named, "Forever Nameless Employees who pretend you're invisible."
Not only wasn't I greeted, but I discovered, that it is their actual store policy at Forever 21, according to Stephanie (who hesitantly gave me her name) that staff do not give their names.
Finally! A place to shop for people in the Witness Protection Program.
Instead of their name, each employee has a lanyard dangling around their neck, which lists that person's title: Manager, Co-manager, Assistant, Visual Associate, Head Cashier.
Dismissing the slight chance that these are, indeed, their actual names - isn't the song lyric, "...where everybody knows your name."? Besides employees? Couldn't they just make up a fake name, if they were worried about their personal security - like strippers do?
After stripping it down, Forever Nameless Employees shall be better left anonymous.
Store: F.Y.E.-music store
Time until greeted: 2 minutes
Greeting: "Help you with anything?"
Greeter: Richard
Comments: After Jane Doe-Mart, Richard's kind, relatively quick, closed-ended question greeting at F.Y.E. felt like a warm bath.
Kudos to Richard - he's been working there for five years and never missed a day. Engaging, kind, loyal - a good story to report, and our first 3-masker. Whoo! Whoo!
Store: The Perfume Palace
Time until greeted: no greeting
Greeting: n/a
Greeter: n/o/p/e
Comments: In fairness to Depthi, the woman behind the counter, she obviously didn't speak much English.
In unfairness to Depthi, it was really weird to look somebody straight in the eye from 4.31 feet away, and have them say nothing.
Finally I said, "Shouldn't you be working at Wet Seal?" Then I actually said, "hi."
Depthi's response was stranger than her silence. "Here - you try a new one." Then she picked up a bottle of something and started spraying it on a piece of paper for perfume sampling - I'm assuming it was perfume - I'm assuming she worked there.
But considering I hadn't told her what I was looking for - she just grabbed a jug and started firing - the whole thing smelled a bit.
Store: Things Remembered - gift boutique
Time until greeted: 30 seconds
Greeting: "Hi! What can I help you find?"
Greeter: Kathy
Comments: Our first open-ended question!
(confetti and balloons cascade down while orchestra plays "For She's A Jolly Good Greeter.")
Kathy, the manager at Things Remembered, gets it. Great greeting, great smile, great store.
One for one - we're on a roll!
Store: The Yankee Candle Store
Time until greeted: 10 seconds
Greeting: "Anything I can help you find?"
Greeter: Mikelyn
Comments: Not the right greeting but definitely the right personality, Mikelyn the assistant manager was happy, helpful and thankful.
She told me about how much they emphasize customer service at Yankee Candle - how their process is to engage customers at the beginning, let them sniff around a bit, then go back to them after a few minutes, to see if they need help.
Textbook retail - and Mikelyn did it by the book, except for that greeting. A quick reminder and I suspect she'd have that down, too.
Store: The Body Shop - beauty products
Time until greeted: 30 seconds
Greeting: "Anything I can help you find?"
Greeter: Tiffany
Comments: Tiffany greeted me almost right away, and incorrectly - yet said it so fast that I literally had no earthly idea what she'd just said to me, no more than I could decipher her next two sentences, each of which I had to ask her to repeat. Her cadence would have put an auctioneer to shame.
Yet when she started to relax, she also slowed down and was extremely charming - and comprehendible.
Store: Aldo
Time until greeted: 5 minutes
Greeting: "Looking for something today?"
The response in my head: Yes - for you to stop talking to your friends over there, walk up to me sooner than after your conversation is fini, act like you care about me as a customer in your store, and start with a decent question, conducive to me wanting to spend money here, so you still have a job here by Fall.
Time to leave Alpo - and go find some Iams.
Store: Express - men's and women's clothing
Time until greeted: 30 seconds
Greeting: "How are you today?"
Greeter: Daniel
Comments: Daniel was a super-nice guy, who disappeared after his initial greeting. After browsing the store for 10 minutes, I purposefully found him again and he was just as nice as he'd been earlier.
The employee who wasn't as outgoing - he didn't say anything to me - was always visible.
In all fairness, that's probably an under-staffed store for its square footage.
Store: The Buckle - men's and women's clothing
Time until greeted: 30 seconds
Greeting: "Hi, how's it going?"
Greeter: Scott, initially, then Annie
Comments: Scott greeted me quickly, and Annie took over. She was very sweet, smiled and was engaging.
Annie's issue was that she never asked me what I was looking for - she just started showing me stuff. (See The Perfume Store, six stores back.) Yes those are great looking stone-washed straight-legged jeans, and sure, they're a steal at $49! But - what if, like, I came in to buy a shirt?
Ask first, then listen, then listen some more - and when the consumer is done yakking, then go to town. But not before.
Store: Jos. A Bank - men's clothing
Time until greeted: Five minutes
Greeting: "Anything special I might help you find?"
Greeter: Peter Sherinian
Comments: I have to admit to a personal curiosity about this store (my first time in) whose radio/TV ads I'd always felt were compelling - overly dramatic announcer + overly repetitive offer ("...and get the second suit for FREEE.") + overly static still shots of supermodels wearing suits + weird way of shortening "Joseph" to "Jos" + name sounds like a place to cash checks, not a place to buy $400 pants = weird and compelling.
Pete sorta blew all of that up.
He had some help, agreed, from the young man working the store with him. But Pete, the assistant manager, is a middle-aged guy who has been working retail a long time - he should have acknowledged me one of the six times I walked past him, as he engaged another customer. There's also the closed-ended question once he got to me, an obvious no-no for an experienced salesman who should know-know better.
Nice enough man. But when you're an older gentleman who has forgotten more about sales than I'll ever know, selling suits that cost one of my monthly Prius car payments, ya gotta do better than nice enough.
I'd definitely get beyond that at the next stop...
Store: Vitamin World
Time until greeted: 30 seconds
Greeting: "Hi! Welcome to Vitamin World! I'm Lisa!"
Greeter: Lisa
Comments: Holy Buyosphere Training! Speechless. And not in a Forever 21 way.
Lisa, the manager, delivered on every key element of the greeting that we teach in customer service training. She greeted with a "Hi" and a smile, extended a welcome, said the name of the store along with her own and was about to ask me mine when I interrupted her to thank her for being so awesome. That was by far the best experience of the day, and one of the best all year, period.
If you buy vitamins, buy them from Lisa. If you don't buy vitamins, just go into the store and you'll feel like you just took a happy pill. Great job, Lisa!
Store: Lane Bryant - women's clothing
Time until greeted: 30 seconds
Greeting: "Help you find anything?"
Greeter: Sandy
Comments: Sandy was extremely friendly, and mentioned specials in that perfectly timed way that makes a shopper feel like the staffer is truly sharing the information for their benefit and not to meet some sales quota. Amy, a co-worker, was equally gregarious and sweet.
The only strike was the greeting. You're in good company, Sandy. Now be exceptional and learn the importance of an open-ended salutation, and you'll be a rock star.
Store: The Finish Line - men's and women's athletic shoes
Time until greeted: 14 minutes (by default)
Greeting: "Hi. What can I grab for you?"
Greeter: Katey (by way of Brad)
Comments: Partial credit for being greeted goes to Brad - not an employee, but a customer, who I engaged after 12 minutes of browsing, as there was nobody else to talk to. After mentioning this to Brad, he responded that he would go get someone to wait on us - an extremely kind gesture on his part.
There was no one within shoe-ting distance because Katey the store manager and another employee were in the back of the store, talking, laughing and thoroughly enjoying their shift - with each other, not customers.
When Katey did finally make it to where I was standing, her greeting was akin to what a carnival barker yells after you knock over three milk cartons with a ball toss. Atrocious.
Brad - who works for the railroad - gets my vote for "Finish Line Employee Of The Month."
Store: Smart Art - art store
Time until greeted: 10 seconds
Greeting: "Hello. How are you today?"
Greeter: Jeremy
Comments: I'm about to write something an employee said that is offensive, so please move onto the next review if you'd rather not read it.
While I browsed the artwork on the walls of Smart Art, an older couple entered the store. Jeremy, the store manager, and the gentleman began discussing the military. You got the feeling that this guy had once been in the armed services. He then made a comment about being unable "to get used to the idea of two men holding hands."
Jeremy had a lot of choices in responses at that point. He chose this one:
"I wouldn't want to take a shower with someone who is gay."
A customer can say racist, sexist, bigoted things - but not the employee. And especially not the manager.
This is especially hard to report because Smart Art is locally owned, by Brian Hansen - one of the only locally owned stores in the entire mall. Yet whoever owns it, the point hardly has to be mentioned - that sort of talk, especially within easy earshot of a customer, is absolutely unacceptable.
Store: Icing By Claire's
Time until greeted: two minutes
Greeting: "Is there anything I can help you find?"
Greeter: Latisha
Comments: She stayed kinda stuck behind the counter, but when Latisha smiled, she lit up the room. Come on out onto the floor and don't keep that incredible joy hidden back there. Customers want it and need it, Latisha. Especially if they've just been to...
Store: Journeys
Time until greeted:
Greeting: "Hi."/"How are you?"
Greeter: Evy
Comments: Evy the manager, along with Danielle, started out strong, with each offering a quick greeting. But after that, they ignored me - especially hard to do in what was the smallest retail space I visited, no bigger than a two bedroom apartment.
When I mentioned to them that I was secret shopping the store for a blog post, they clammed up even more - is there something more clammy than silence? Evy finished it off with a snotty "See ya" as I left - probably not in the Journeys' Managerial Handbook, I'm guessing, any more than the gaggle-of-braying-elephants-decibled music, cranked up just as I entered the store.
Store: Pac Sun - women's clothing
Time until greeted: 30 seconds
Greeting: "Anything I can help you find?"
Greeter: Melissa
Comments: Melissa, who has been in retail for 13 years, showed her chops. She was kind, engaging and smiled generously. The closed-ended question marred what was otherwise a very nice experience.
Store: Aerie By American Eagle - men's and women's clothing
Time until greeted: three minutes
Greeting: "Looking for anything?"
Greeter: Gwen
What I wanted to say: "Actually I'm looking for nothing, and not looking for anything. Have you not got it in my size?"
Comments: That's about as bad as it gets for store greetings - except for the greetings I'm still waiting for. Otherwise Gwen was friendly enough - yet nothing really makes up for saying something that suggests you don't really give the south end of a north-bound rat.
Store: The Baby Gap - infant clothing
Time until greeted: 15 minutes
Greeting: "Oh...I didn't see you." Then, "Anything I can help you find?"
Greeter: Kaye
Comments: "First, let's establish that Sara the manager, and Kaye, were very friendly when they finally found me.
But just because it's the Baby Gap, doesn't mean I should feel like a two foot tall shopper, completely hidden from employees. In fact I walked back and forth and back and forth across an open entryway between Baby Gap clothes racks a dozen times, at least - someone should have seen me.
When someone did, the closed ended question made the delay in service, feel worse. A shopper doesn't browse inside a retail setting for nearly 15 minutes because they've found what they want and don't need help.
Adding insult to injury was the conversation taking place between Sara and Kaye - well, mainly Sara.
"I just want you to hear my talk my mind about this. You just need to listen to me..."
Oops. It kinda felt like when you're a kid (Baby Gap, how apropos) and you stumble upon a really adult conversation your parents are having, and it creeps you out.
I felt pretty creeped out and pretty 10 years old.
But again, two great people who, I'm sure, won't forget the five-minute discussion I had with them on exactly what I've shared with you. :)
Store: Bath And Body Works
Time until greeted: 20 seconds
Greeting: "Anything I can help you find?"
Greeter: She walked away too fast for me to find out
Comments: The greeting came quickly, the closed-ended question was delivered badly, and the fact that she delivered it while literally walking away from me and towards another customer, made it worsely.
They were under-staffed, admittedly. But there are better ways to handle that.
Store: Fossil - clothing
Time until greeted: two minutes
Greeting: "Anything I can help you find?"
Greeter: Jen
Comments: I hated to bother Jen, who seemed to be quietly engaged with her boyfriend and proved it by offering me something that felt more like "a commercial break in the action" of an NFL game than an actual retail greeting.
Then she quickly returned to the action.
Store: Aeropostale - clothing
Time until greeted: 30 seconds
Greeting: "Hello. Shorts are on special..."
Greeter: Victoria
Comments: Victoria had a solution to the closed-ended question - forgoing all questions and launching into the pimping portion of her presentation.
Granted, $30 for shorts is an amazing offer, much more interesting than any ole thing I might have come in to the store to buy, plus you really have no idea as an employee, when you're going to get the phone call from Corporate Aeropostle (which I can't pronounce and don't understand but sounds like aerodynamic clergy) telling you that shorts prices are immediately increased to $3,250.
Nothing wrong with being aggressive - and Victoria was quite pleasant about it. Just don't forget to toss in something old-fashioned, like, "What can I help you with?"
Store: Hollister - clothing - I think
Time until greeted: I wasn't and never gave them a chance to
Greeting: I'm scared
Greeter: I do believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do believe in spooks...
Comments: Hollister is the most unique, freaky, scary, creepy store ever.
If Norman Bates opened a clothing store, it would be Hollister. You actually run the risk of hurting yourself, just by walking through the store - but it's not a store. There's displays where entryways are, so you have to walk around and through them, and most of the place is dark or dimly lit. Stuff is hard to see and the music is stupid-loud, and not of this world. It's - just go visit there, if you've never been in. Don't buy anything. Just have your affairs in order before you visit.
Store: American Eagle Outfitters - men's and women's clothing
Time until greeted: seven minutes
Greeting: "Anything I can help you find?"
Greeter: Brian
Comments: The delay in being greeting wasn't the worst part - that came in a conversation one of the employees, a young woman, was having with another employee.
She was talking about "I need a backup" and "I didn't give him my real name." The rest of the convo was blissfully drowned out by the too-loud music. Suffice it to say, the girl was discussing her sexual conquests from the night before - appropriate for a bar or a Dr. Phil episode, not so hot for a clothing store.
Store: Crazy 8 - children's clothing store
Time until greeted: was never greeted
Greeting: was the opposite of greeted
Greeter: in fact, was the opposite of retail - notice a complete absence of masks
Comments: I've saved the worst for last - not by design, that's just how it played out. After four hours of decidedly mixed secret shopping results, it was time for a lack of ambiguity - this was without question one of the worst retail experiences I've ever endured.
Crazy 8 is a children's clothing store. That's appropriate, as it is apparently being run by kids.
It started with me meandering around the store, while Jeremy, the manager, waited on a customer.
10 minutes later, the phone rang, and while he rang up the customer, Jeremy answered it.
His side of the conversation when something like this:
"Darci quit. Said she wouldn't be in tonight. Tyler's over there by himself at the Valley West location..."
Jeremy then puts the phone against his chest, looks up at the customer and says, "There's a customer care number at the bottom of the receipt, just call if you have any issues." He hands the man his items, then goes back to his conversation.
Stunning. Mouth-gaping, screen door on a submarine, stunning. And he still hasn't waited on me yet.
It gets worse.
"I'm looking for that perfect candidate," he continues into the phone. "I saw some good people but haven't found somebody that's going to fit the bill."
Yes...it must be hard to find employees who can be multi-task offensive in a retail setting.
Jeremy, mercifully, finally hung up - and then unmercifully continued the same conversation with an employee.
I was beginning to lose my mind. I started trying on toddler clothes.
After 20 minutes of listening to the "emplyee's gone, whadawegonnado?!" drivel, I'd finally had enough.
I walked up to the employees, Jeremyus Lamentus Interruptus, and said, "I've been walking around this store for 20 minutes, waiting for you to wait on me, while I've had to listen to you talk about your own personal woes because of an employee who quit. What you're doing is offensive and rude."
Jeremy looked at me - and said nothing.
So I filled the vacuum.
"And now you're staring at me and not saying anything, which is even more rude - do you have a clue how to run a store? How in the world can you be like this and expect to stay in business?"
More silence.
"I want a number of your boss - now."
Remaining moot, Jeremy walked over to his computer and began searching for a customer service number to give to me.
I decided to help the kid out.
"Didn't you tell that last customer that there's a customer care number at the bottom of his receipt? Can't you just print a receipt?"
This apparently jarred his memory. He printed one off, then handed it to the employee beside him and asked her to call it.
After dialing it and listening, she said, "What is the Richmond Times Dispatch?"
I looked at her, shaking my head in disbelief. "That's the name of the daily newspaper in Richmond, Virginia."
"That's where this number calls to," she said.
Since I'd recently renewed my subscription, that clearly wasn't going to help.
Fifteen minutes later, Jeremy found a number with a live human being on the other end, which was apparently a customer service number for Lucky 8 and not a media outlet.
I have not called it - but will let you know what happens when I do.
This experience was bad on so many levels, for so many reasons, it's hard to wrap my little brain around it. Suffice it to say that there is a decided lack of managerial leadership at Lucky 8.
I never even received an apology from Jeremy. Stunning.
Jeremy, as well as the vast majority of employees I encountered throughout my 28 store Secret Shopping tour, were young - mostly in their 20's, with a few exceptions. Yet are not their parents (except for those who actually are) who should be expected to excuse their mistakes as a product of their youthful inexperience.
Instead, we are shoppers, who should expect the very best from those who serve on the front lines of retail - regardless of their age.
While there were also a few high quality customer service stand-outs - Vitamin World, Things Remembered, F.Y.E., Yankee Candle - there were also bottom feeders, like Lucky 8, Smart Art and The Finish Line. The majority of stores left, simply under-performed.
Overall, the poor shopping experience at Jordan Creek Mall played against the visual grandeur of the structure - and suggests that simply putting 200 stores under one roof, isn't enough.
"If you build it, they will come" may be true in mega-malls and cinematic cornfields. (and how Jordan Creek started - just a bunch of corn) But "If you smile, greet, engage and thank them, they will be back," while not as poetic, is what keeps them coming - after the last nail is driven, and the first door is opened.
And let's face it - keeping it open, is a Hollywood ending we all want to see.
Jonnie Wright is a customer service evaluator and trainer, professional secret shopper, marketing strategist and host of "The Unsecret Shopper Radio Show," Saturday mornings 8-9am on 1350 KRNT. Email Jonnie at jonniewright@thebuyosphere.com
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